


To Jump From a Burning Building

by straight_as_a_curly_fry



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: References to Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-13 10:17:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straight_as_a_curly_fry/pseuds/straight_as_a_curly_fry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody asks the question, "Why did you do it?", but most people don't want to know the answer. Tony does. So when Tony asks Bruce why he tried to kill himself, Bruce explains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Jump From a Burning Building

Bruce always knew that Tony would ask eventually-most people did-it was usually the first thing people asked when they found out he had killed himself.

“Why?”

Bruce sighed, “A wise man once explained suicide by saying it’s like jumping off a building, and I couldn’t agree more; in fact the only thing his explanation lacked was a bit more depth.”

“You’ve built yourself this tower right? It’s not just any tower though: it’s a huge tower, and it’s the most modern building around. Your tower is absolutely beautiful; it has floor to ceiling windows, and a fantastic view. Standing in the top floor of your tower you can see yourself anywhere. You’re at the top at the world, and there’s nothing that can stop you.” Bruce continued, walking over to sit on Tony’s lab bench. 

“You deserve this tower-although some would say you don’t-, because you’ve worked up to it your whole life, and you’ve spent everything you had turning it from a dream into a reality. It was worth it though, because now you’ve got a million opportunities, and a thousands things you could do.”

“One day though, suppose everything changes.” Bruce said with a sad smile, “Things start to go wrong. At first it’s just a spark-you lost some papers you really needed, and now you’re paying for it, or maybe you left the air-con on too long and the bill’s just come- and you think about asking your friends to help; but then you realize that you spent so much time building this perfect tower, that nobody stuck around to see it completed. Everybody who was there in the beginning left a long time ago, and there’s nobody there to help you put the spark out. All of a sudden everything’s on fire.” 

“Why wouldn’t you just leave the building?” Tony asked, “Why don’t you get out of the fire?”

“Sometimes it’s not as simple as that,” Bruce said, “Because you’re in the top floor and the view that was so beautiful and held so many opportunities, is now scary and threatening. There’s a fire raging at your back urging you forward. You’re so close to the window now that you could open it if you wanted to, just a few more steps and you could be on the other side; but then you’d be falling, and you’re not sure if you want that. Not yet.” Bruce was holding back tears now, trying not to let himself cry as he finished.

“You keep looking; trying to see if you can fight your way out, or checking to see if the fire brigade’s there yet; but they’re not. It’s then that you realize nobody’s coming. Nobody thinks to check on you anymore; they only see the tower, and the opportunities, and the beautiful view, and how could anything be wrong, when it’s so perfect? Nobody realizes that you’re struggling for your life in the one thing that used to be everything, but is now nothing but a charred mess; still gleaming on the outside, but now broken and charred within.”

Tony sat down beside Bruce, and hugged him closely.

“That’s the last straw.” Bruce said as the first tear slipped down his face, “There’s nobody coming to save you, and you can’t save yourself, so why bother waiting for the fire to burn you? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just end it all before it can hurt you? So you step forward, you open the window… and then you jump.”

 

Bruce let out a cruel laugh, “The worst part is that the next day they say that you jumped to make a point, or because there was nothing left to stay for; but they’re wrong. You never jump because you want to, you only jump because you don’t want to get burned; because maybe the jump will kill you; but the fire would hurt.”

“I’m so sorry Bruce,” Tony whispered, hugging him tightly, “I promise I’ll be there for you next time; I’ll make sure you don’t get burnt. I’ll make sure you don’t have to jump.”

END


End file.
